A high-level Russian informant has finally shed light on the Bob Costas weeping eye scandal. A former KGB informant has outed Costas as Russian spy Pyotr Stigmatasky. Costas has used his “tears of blood” to coax untold secrets from many sports and political figures, sharing them with mentor Howard (Vladimir Toupeenitsyn) Cosell, previously thought deceased.
Top secret records unearthed by TMZ show Stigmatasky had run a broadcasting school in Inner Mongolia before attending Syracuse. His boyish looks at age 36 allowed him to attend college without suspicion, then begin his long career at KMOX in St. Louis doing ABA and Mizzou basketball games.
Costas, now 81, has been doing Olympics broadcasts since 1992, and has fully blown his own cover and taken refuge in the mountains around Sochi.
He tweeted “Waited 40 years for return to Mother Russia and broadcast Games. My eyes weep for Toupeenitsyn! #sochichichia” He is being replaced on Olympic broadcasts by Matt Lauer, who said “I’m not sure I believe this spy mumbo-jumbo. I think he shared a pillow with Collinsworth.”