The 2014 Super Bowl between the Denver Broncos and Seattle Seahawks will start at 4:20 p.m. Eastern Standard Time, the NFL announced today.

“It’s hard to explain why, really,” said a red-eyed Roger Goodell. “It’s like, I mean, on the one hand you have a Colorado team and then on the other side you have a Washington team.”

Added Goodell: “I hope there’s like a ton of Taco Bell Dorito Locos spots during the game, because I could eat those things all day, man. All freaking day. Hey, have you seen my Visine? I have a press conference in 10 minutes.”