As Florida State celebrated their exciting, come-from-behind 34-31 national championship victory, Alabama head coach Nick Saban sat in his Lake Burton, Georgia home, grimly smiling over the tattered shards of the Auburn voodoo doll he constructed after Alabama’s crushing loss to Auburn in November 30th’s SEC championship game.

Auburn’s loss, which saw the the 10.5 point underdogs with a commanding lead for much of the game, was made particularly brutal as Saban used his voodoo doll to string Auburn along in a somber act of revenge.

“It didn’t have to be this way. You should have let us do your dirty work for you,” Saban lamented over a doll of mascot Aubie the Tiger containing a single dread from Tre Mason’s scalp. “If only you would have let missed field goals stay missed, I wouldn’t have had to make you commit a pass interference in the end zone.”

Saban made a point to call Auburn head coach, Gus Malzahn, to inform him that it was “nothing personal” but added that Oklahoma, which beat Alabama in this year’s Sugar Bowl, should “prepare for a very rough 2014.”

By Jeff GoodSmith

Jeff GoodSmith