Urine sample collector Dino Laurenzi, Jr. has taken great offense to Ryan Braun’s claims that he was an anti-Semitic Cubs fan.

“I might be a lot of things,” said Laurenzi in a recent interview. “I collect urine samples for a living. I hate Jewish people. But under no circumstances can anyone get away with calling me a Cubs fan.”

According to Laurenzi, he’s faced endless ridicule from friends and family over Braun’s assertion that he was a Cubs fan after Braun failed a drug test administered by┬áLaurenzi in 2011.

“It was one thing for Braun to call my entire career into question,” said Laurenzi, “but to go out there and say I’m a Cubs fan without any basis, that’s just really below the belt.”

Laurenzi said he planned to sue Braun, just as soon as he could “find a good, Gentile lawyer, which is pretty tough these days you know.”

 

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