When royal crier Tony Appleton formally announced the birth of the son of Prince William and wife Kate Middleton, all of Great Britain and much of the world reveled with tremendous joy.
What was totally unexpected was Appleton’s proclamation that the future King of England was named “Ronnie Woo-Woo Mountbatten-Windsor, Duke of Wrigleyville,” for Cubs super-fan Ronnie Woo-Woo Wickers.
A spokesperson for the royals told the Daily Mirror that Prince William is a long-time Cubs fan, and has been “ever-since WGN-TV became part of Sky Television Network when Will was a wee lad.”
It was also revealed that the royal couple often sneaks into Chicago to attend Cubs ballgames “disguised as tourists from Omaha.” One time, they attended without costume, but that didn’t work well as fans showered them with beer and hurled insults accusing the couple of impersonating Will and Kate.
When contacted for his reaction, Wickers, surprisingly, had no comment saying only that his attorneys will file suit for violations of trademarks and infringement of naming rights.
Others said to be named for Wickers include actor Johnny Woo-Woo Depp, the Olsen twins, Mary-Kate Woo-Woo and Ashley Woo-Woo, and Flo Woo-Woo from the Progressive Insurance commercials.