In a move designed to soothe the wounded psyche of Lakers fans all over Southern California, the Lakers front office is allowing all fans to trade-in their No. 12 jerseys in exchange for an authentic or replica Aaron Hernandez jersey, who Lakers fans feel disgraced the Patriots by murdering someone less than Howard did by leaving their team via free agency.

Lakers fans, devastated in the wake of horrifying news that Dwight Howard was leaving for Houston, have been left soul-searching ever since last week’s bombshell. This move is being hailed by the Lakers PR staff and media pundits alike, as “a way to begin the healing process by allowing disheartened fans to exchange one jersey for the player of another who definitely will not be leaving anytime soon.”

Bipartisan brinksmanship was offered up by Boston as a way to normalize relations between the two cities who have been on shaky ground ever since Kevin McHale’s clothesline of Kurt Rambis in the 1984 Finals.