The final horn on the season had barely gone off and Blackhawks GM Stan “The Man” Bowman was already cooking up a plan to break up the 2013 Stanley Cup winners in the most heartbreaking of ways.
“So we’re going to ship Crawford and Toews off to Florida for a few minor leaguers who can only skate backward,” said Bowman. “That should save us at least $5,000 of cap space, which will be great when we need to find a way to gas up the Zamboni we’ll acquire when we deal Keith and $5 million in cash to the Kings.”
Added Bowman: “Have you seen the Kings’ Zamboni? It’s a real beaut.”
Bowman was criticized greatly for breaking up the 2010 Stanley Cup winners, but cautioned fans who hated on him then that they hadn’t seen anything yet.
“I remember when I dealt Byfuglien, everyone in Chicago wanted my head on a platter,” said Bowman. “Now that he’s 300 pounds and barely making the team in Winnipeg, I wonder how they’ll feel about me bringing him back in exchange for Patrick Kane, Andrew Shaw, Brent Seabrook and our six hottest Ice Crew girls.”
“Thought you hated me after 2010? You ain’t seen nothing yet.”