Despite the official reason of a dismal weather forecast, Wednesday’s Blue Jays-White Sox game was actually cancelled so that the players on both teams can cheer on the Blackhawks in game 1 of the Stanley Cup.

Said team captain Paul Konerko, “I’ve always been a Blackhawks fan, but when I got to shoot the puck between periods a couple weeks ago at the United Center, that was it. I’m completely caught up in Hawks mania to the detriment of everything else, even baseball.”

“And since those yahoos at Yahoo Sports are all picking Boston to win the Cup, the Sox have to be at the UC to bring good karma and show our support in full force.”

Added former Sox pitcher turned Blue Jay Mark Buehrle, “I play baseball in Canada now. So I don’t care about baseball anymore either. Just hockey. I’ve always loved the Hawks. And I still have juice with Robin Ventura, so I just asked him to cancel the game. We can play it later … or never. Who cares?”

Continued Buehrle, “But you know Robin. He’s all about the rules and everything. But he’s more fun than people think. So he got Tom Skilling to conjure up the thunderstorm-tornado and just blame it on that. We played in fog the other night, for pete’s sake. How annoying was that? We deserve to be at the UC tonight.”

“And one last thing,” said Konerko. “You know I whupped Jeff Samardzija in that shoot the puck competition at the Hawks game. So that totally voids the Cubs’ Crosstown Cup victory. And that game they cancelled in April because of the goat-head-in-a-box? Our cancellation due to Stanley Cup tickets masquerading as a thunderstorm-tornado is way better than that, too.”