While the Cubs Convention has moved to the¬†Sheraton this year, one fan will be making it a point to stop by the former host site to indulge in some god-awful overly priced food at Kitty O’Sheas, the dank pit of a corner bar located inside the Chicago Hilton and Towers.

“I know people call it ‘Shitty Okays,’ but something about terrible overpriced bar food really gets to me,” said David Stibe, from Davenport. “Even though the Convention isn’t there this year, I just feel like I have to stop by for a $14 corned beef sandwich, hockey puck that it is.”

Stibe said he’s drawn to the heavy scent of grease in the air, the decor that hasn’t been changed or even cleaned in several decades and slow waitstaff that’s only occasionally courteous. Not having to fight through a packed room of obese Cubs fans and washed-out former players will probably take away at least a little of the luster for Stibe though.

“I remember one year Bob Dernier was getting his groove on with a handful of portly middle-aged women in one corner of the bar and Dwight Smith was hitting on a girl who couldn’t have been any older than 19,” said Stibe. “I suppose Kitty O’Sheas just won’t be the same without that, but if they’ve still got some month-old half-eaten fries under the heat lamp it’ll be well worth the trip.”

hecklerstaff