Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg today announced a ban on all status updates about users’ fantasy football teams, citing millions of annoyed subscribers.

“A small percentage of our user base is alienating a vast majority of our audience by posting countless meaningless updates about their fantasy football teams and it’s got to stop immediately,” said Zuckerberg. “People need to realize no one cares if they missed their fantasy league’s playoffs because Michael Vick sucks or some stupid kicker missed two late field goals.”

Added Zuckerberg: “Can you believe how Romo went off on the Eagles this weekend? Can’t believe I left him on my bench.”