Before taking the Miami Marlins managerial job, Ozzie Guillen served as a spokesperson for a few Chicago businesses during his time with the White Sox. One of these was the Brazilian steakhouse Brazzaz, and following his dismissal as the Marlins’ skipper, he called up his friends at the churrascaria to see if they had any promotional work he could do.

“He said he was between gigs and was looking for a little action,” said Brazzaz proprietor Joao Valentes. “Unfortunately, we didn’t have any opportunities for him to do broadcast or print ad representation for us. But Ozzie’s an old amigo, so I did what I could.”

Valentes did have an opening as a gaucho, one of the tableside chefs at the restaurant who slices portions of meat on to patrons’ plates with the aid of a distinctive sword. Guillen was not exactly grateful for the assistance.

“What the [expletive deleted] is this [expletive deleted]?” he said while walking back into the kitchen in the middle of his first shift. “I went from managing Mark [expletive deleted] Buehrle to carving pork loin for the Fettersons of Cedar Rapids in just a few weeks. I’m gonna go tell that [expletive deleted] Valentes what I think of this [expletive deleted] job — right after I punch out and collect my share of the tips.”

By Brian Summerfield

Brian Summerfield