Despite barely squeaking past the hapless Cleveland Browns in overtime, Dallas Cowboys coaches and players rejoiced on Sunday, believing their inept offense had turned a corner or something.

“We’re back to .500 and putting the league on notice,” said owner Jerry Jones. “This is a game you have to win at home, and we did win it. Don’t look now, but America’s team is back!”

Head coach Jason Garrett agreed, going so far as to give himself a vote of confidence in the postgame press conference.

“I guess you could say my job is safe now!” Garrett howled, shaking his finger at the media. “Forget all that junk about the Browns being terrible. They had two wins, right? This is just a big game and I think you’ll see a lot of the highlights on SportsCenter this week.”