Last night, two familiar faces were seen palling around in Chicago: Sox catcher A.J. Pierzynski and Bears QB Jay Cutler.
What was originally thought of as a publicity stunt to make the other look worse, both men decided to hang out, in hopes of putting the other in context. Naturally, neither could out-douche the other.
To start the evening, Cutski, as the media has dubbed them, walked through Grant Park kicking puppies and throwing rocks at the elderly. People were appalled until they realized who they were dealing with.
All night, Cutler seemed at home with Pierzynski. They spent several hours sitting alone at a local bar planning out who to bully and/or shove on the field, and they also exchanged their best apathetic looks and even worked in some crank calls to veterans.
“This guy is great, he just gets me,” said an elated Cutler. “He has flipped off like 30 people … I have much to learn.”