Jerry Benson has been on the Detroit police force for nearly a month, but the rookie cop has yet to arrest a single NFL player.

“It’s embarrassing,” said Benson. “All the guys keep making fun of me for being a cherry. Or they say I must be blind if I haven’t spotted a drunk Lion on the road yet.”

In the wake of Aaron Berry’s recent arrest, Benson knew he was in for even more ridicule.

“That happened in Pennsylvania, but it doesn’t matter,” he said. “I just can’t catch a break. My captain says it’s only a matter of time, though. I just need to keep my eyes peeled and eventually I’ll bag one of ‘Schwartz’s Guys’ as we call them.”

Heckler George