Now with a long-term deal finally in hand, Matt Forte Tuesday morning demanded the Bears cut all other running backs on the team.

“The Bears finally stepped up and showed me some of the respect I deserve,” said Forte. “Now it’s time for them to step up and show me all of the respect I deserve by getting rid of every other running back on our roster.”

Feeling the need to compile with the newly minted back, Bears GM Phil Emery immediately cut all RBs, including Kahlil Bell and newly signed Michael Bush. Both had been solid backups to Forte who helped make the Bears one of the deepest at the position, but due to Forte’s perceived disrespect by their mere presence on the roster, they are now out of work.

“It’s too bad we had to cut those guys,” said Forte. “But my delusional interpretation of what it means to be respected is really important to me, even if it means we have to disrespect a bunch of other people in the process.”