Bulls and White Sox owner Jerry Reinsdorf was seen yesterday afternoon at a local Cash For Gold store with three of the six Bulls NBA Championship trophies in tow. When he exited, the prized trophies from the 90’s era were gone forever. It seems that Reinsdorf sold them for some extra cash, presumably to finance his true love, the White Sox.
“That guy came in here ranting about not having Rose next year,” said Cash For Gold employee R.J. Kleckner. “He seemed deranged, talking about how money can’t come from bums like Boozer and Hamilton.”
Those close to Reisnforf and the Sox expect this extra income to be used on various new park improvements, multiple “Funamentals” decks and outrageous waiver claims on players no one wants.
“There is a guy on the North Side with a great excessive contract in left field. I must have him if he goes on waivers!” said a strung-out Reinsdorf. “I’ve got it! I can convince Rose to play for the Sox, start him at Double-A Birmingham, then work him into right field as a marketing ploy. It’s worked before!”