It took about two months, but Kosuke Fukudome finally realized something wasn’t right.

“This is not the Chicago Small Walking Bears team, is it?” asked the Japanese outfielder through his interpreter. “When I was told I was going back to Chicago, I thought it was with the Small Walking Bears, but now I just found out this is some other team named after hosiery.”

Fukudome signed with the White Sox as a free agent this winter, but apparently assumed he was re-joining the Cubs, with whom he played nearly four seasons before being traded to Cleveland last year. He started sensing something wasn’t right about a month into the season when he had yet to play at Wrigley Field. After the White Sox visited the Friendly Confines last weekend, the truth finally dawned on him.

“We returned to that tiny stadium with weeds on the walls and a slight urine fragrance where the Small Walking Bears play, but I was on the other team,” said Fukudome, again through an interpreter. “Plus none of the fans were wearing culturally inaccurate headbands and T-shirts anymore, so I knew that I wasn’t playing for the Small Walking Bears anymore.”

Now that the reality of his situation has soaked in, Fukudome said he is enjoying his time with the White Sox.

“It’s nice to not play in front of so many fans,” said Fukudome. “Playing at the stadium named after a crappy mobile phone company is a relief compared to all the drunk loud fans they have at the stadium named after the chewing gum company.”

hecklerstaff