As the Bulls’ once-promising season continues to unravel, psychology professors from Northwestern University released shocking early results from an overnight study that revealed not one Chicagoan apparently remembers Tuesday night’s 109-92 thrashing at the hands of the very mediocre 76ers in Game 2 of the first-round of the playoffs.

“We knew Chicagoans were distraught after Derrick Rose’s injury, but we had no idea how terribly these unfortunate developments were impacting this fine city’s psyche,” said Dr. Alan Stein. “It’s the sort of subconscious denial we normally see in people who have experienced great trauma or were forced to sit through an entire Tyler Perry movie.”