People of Boston have reported seeing a masked man all over town. He’s been spotted in sushi restaurants, shopping centers, and most recently entering the player’s entrance at Fenway Park. The identity of the man remained a mystery until yesterday when it was revealed that the menace was none other than Red Sox Manager Bobby Valentine.
Sox blogger “McTitties,” real name Mick Tibbets was the man to crack the case.
“I just put two and two together. The guy didn’t want to be booed,” Tibbets said with a thick Boston accent. “I analyzed his walking style, his build, and the locations he visited and knew it was Bobby V. That loser just ain’t gonna hack it here.”
Valentine’s short time as Red Sox manager has not gone exactly as planned. Not only is his team sitting alone in the cellar of the AL East, up until last week he couldn’t even walk around town without Sox fans booing and yelling obscenities at him.
“I guess the jig is up,” Bobby said shielded by a ridiculous Groucho Marx style mask. “They saw right through my disguise in the Mets dugout to. Sometimes you just need to tip your hat to the astute fans out there … although, there aren’t too many around these parts.”
An official for the team said Valentine will no longer take trips to the mound at home, choosing to let pitching coach, Bob McClure face the ire of the Fenway faithful. Valentine believes the rocky start will eventually even out and he’ll win the hearts of the Sox lifers.
As for Mr. Tibbets, he’s become somewhat of an instant internet celebrity for his sleuthing.
“My blog is getting record hits,” he proudly boasted. “I finally passed that McDonalds’ themed porn site that shared my name on Google search. Go Sox!”