Joe Mather’s walk-off single against the Cardinals Monday night was a welcome sight for first-year manager Dale Sveum. Unfortunately, because of the team’s recent woes, Sveum found himself in the peculiar position of having to explain the term “walk-off” to his players.

“Yeah,” sighed a beleaguered Sveum. “These are good guys. But it’s been so long since they’ve come from behind and won, that half of them started to take the field again so they could blow the game. Hell, Shawn Camp began warming up in the pen. I had to say, ‘Guys, we actually won … on our last at bat.’”

Veteran, Ryan Dempster, was forced to explain to backup catcher, Steve Clevenger, that there would not be a chance for the Cardinals to come back.

“You mean it’s over?” said Clevenger. “Soriano won’t be dropping a fly ball? Marmol won’t hit three batters this inning.”

“The game is over, Clev,” said Dempster. “We won. Carlos Marmol can’t hurt you now.”

Dempster explained.

“These kids. They’re so naïve. And you can’t let Wrigley suck the soul out of them so early. That has to happen over a very very very long and unfulfilling career. It’s just way too early for that now.”

Manny L. Scoreboard