Contrary to popular belief, the WNBA still exists, and league officials are pulling out all the stops to gain interest. This year’s 2012 WNBA draft was held earlier this week, in a VFW hall outside of Newark, N.J., and was “top optional” to generate interest in the failing league.

Unfortunately, the once proud, women’s-only professional sport, hit the wrong tune and has brought on a new seedy following: Creeps. Online¬†weirdos have flocked to buy tickets, getting total season ticket owners to seven.

Barbara Smith-Powers, a women’s rights activist has begun leading protests to restore the sport to its former glory:

“The WNBA is an important hotspot for YMCA Summer Camp¬†field trips, girls under 12, and drunks who accidentally order tickets on StubHub at 4 A.M.,” said Smith-Powers “We don’t need drunk and horny Lingerie Football League fans coming over now that their league is gone.”

Brew Dreesus