Fresh off being named Most Outstanding Player of the Final Four and a National Championship, Kentucky freshman Anthony Davis has landed his first big endorsement deal. The future NBA star will be the new “Wooly Willy.”
“It just made sense. We’ve been thinking about bringing Willy back on the market, but we wanted to make it hip with the kids of today, what with the X-boxes and the Sony Playmachines,” said an elderly rep for the Smethport Specialty Company, creators of the toy. “Once I saw this kid’s eyebrows, I knew we had the new face of our product.”
The toy, which uses a magnetic wand to move metal fillings around to form different hairstyles has been searching for a new face ever since Billy Gibbons of ZZ Top backed out at the last minute in the 70s.
Davis said he was thrilled to be the new spokesman for a toy his father played with as a child.
“Now you know why I kept this caterpillar on my face all season, I was contractually obligated to keeping it,” Davis admitted. “And I gotta admit, it’s fun to move the brow hair to other places. I look pretty cool with a soul patch.”
Normally a collegiate athlete is not allowed to conduct business like this until he has declared for the NBA draft. Davis is still deciding whether or not he will return to school to play his sophomore season.
When asked why the endorsement deal was allowed, NCAA President Mark Emmert stated, “Well, we’re pretty corrupt as is so, why not? Besides, I dig the unibrow, man.”