After Yankees relief pitcher Joba Chamberlain brutally dislocated his ankle while jumping on a trampoline with his son, the trampoline is taking the overweight Yankee to the Supreme Court of the United States in what will be a groundbreaking case. Trampoline vs. Chamberlain will be the first ever toy vs. human owner case in which the owner is being sued for “being too large to properly use toy without harming the well-being of said toy.”

“I’ve told Joba this countless times since he got me at Dick’s Sporting Goods two years ago,” said the trampoline outside the courthouse. “I’ve been telling him that his 300 lb.+ frame is just too big for me to handle comfortably. However, Joba keeps denying his weight problem and has continued to jump on me with his son, creating potential harm for all three of us. If you ask me, he had this coming and he deserves to pay the $5 million I’m asking for in court to cover my suffering because of all the pain he has caused me since I became his property.”

Contrary to popular belief, many legal experts close to the case expect the trampoline to win simply because many of the Supreme Court judges are either huge Red Sox fans or are miserable Mets fans who can’t stand the Yankees.