Robin Ventura knows he has his work cut out for him. He’s not only replacing Ozzie Guillen as the manager, but replacing him as the face of the franchise as well. He knew going into this that he would get compared to his predecessor at every move. But what he wasn’t prepared for is the onslaught of Robin “Ace” Ventura Pet Detective references permeating Spring Training this year.

“Say what you want about Adam Dunn and how he struggled at the plate last season, but he does one hell of a Jim Carrey impersonation,” said A.J. Pierzynski, an avid fan of Carrey’s movies. “Just the other day he, right as Robin was walking up to address the team, yelled, ‘Warning! Assholes are closer than they appear!’ We were all rolling, but Robin wasn’t too happy.”

That’s just the tip of the iceberg. Players have been responding with a sarcastic, “Allllriigghhhty then” every time Venture dishes out instructions. Players have paid groundskeepers to put up missing puppy, kitten, and dolphin posters. Even the coaches are getting in on the act.

Third base coach Joe McEwing began giving his signs by talking out of his butt cheeks.

“I just couldn’t help myself,” said McEwing. “I saw it on TBS the other night and decided to have a little fun with it. The players really seem to like it.”

But Robin doesn’t.

“I knew it would be a challenge for me to control the team, but this is ridiculous,” said a frustrated Ventura. “I got guys talking to me out of their butts and awful Jim Carrey impressions all day. How is a guy supposed to be respected with all that?”

Michael Kloempken