All-Star weekend was especially profitable for Derrick Rose, as the reigning NBA MVP inked a 14-year, $250 million endorsement deal with Adidas, reportedly the second-largest shoe contract of all time. One stipulation that’s raising eyebrows is the deal’s requirement that Rose officially change his name to “Derrick Adidas.”

“Aw man, it’s a great thing,” said Rose. “They’ve been with me since day one, and now here I am, getting this great contract and changing my last name to Adidas. It just feels like this is the way it should be.”

Rose’s name change will officially happen after the season, but once it does, Adidas will take full control of his name, replacing “ROSE” on the back of his No. 1 Bulls jersey with “ADIDAS.” All Rose’s current and future children and relatives will also have to take on the name of the shoe marketer.

“When it comes to a contract of this level, we really had to think outside the box, as they say,” said Adidas CEO Herbert Hainer. “And in order to justify such a large dollar amount, we couldn’t actually buy Derrick’s first-born but we did the next best thing and made sure Derrick and all his relatives from here to eternity will represent the Adidas brand with their every breath.”