The Tribune’s Cubs beat writer Paul Sullivan has coined the term “Starlinstanity” and begun sprinkling it into his spring training reports, but has been disappointed that it has yet to catch on.

“I thought I was onto something,” said Sullivan. “So much so that I trademarked the term and ordered 50,000 T-shirts with the headline ‘STARLINSANITY’ underneath Castro’s smiling mug. I figured they’d sell like hotcakes, but now I’m worried they won’t even sell like cold cakes.”