The Chicago Bulls will be well-represented at next week’s NBA All-Star weekend, with coach Tom Thibodeau leading the East squad that includes MVP Derrick Rose and first-time All-Star Luol Deng.

And now Carlos Boozer is hoping to join his coach and teammates. Having been shut out from the NBA All-Star game for the fourth straight year, Boozer’s brain has been churning non-stop with ideas on how to get back that don’t involve putting in too much defensive effort.

“I heard they just let Jeremy Lin in on the festivities, and the guy’s played, what, seven or eight good games?” said Boozer. “Well I just had a good game. So I figured why not start this layup contest petition as my ticket to Orlando too?”

The Bulls forward says a light bulb went on in his head when he learned that Blake Griffin would not defend his title in this year’s dunk contest. A lack of big names and his own penchant passing up dunks gave him the idea for the petition, which for now has only one name besides Boozer’s.

“There aren’t many stars this year so who’s going to be interested in that?” asked Boozer. “And you see one dunk, you’ve seen them all. But layups? I think the fans would love to see something new.”

Continued Boozer, “Think about it. I might do a little finger roll that barely touches the rim. I might go to the left hand. I could go off-glass. I could do a head fake and then dink it in. Maybe I take off from the free-throw line. I could bring in Scal to throw me an alley-oop lay-in. The possibilities are endless.”

Kelly Morris, the other signee on Boozer’s petition, was surprised to learn what she actually signed.

“Layup contest? All he said was ‘Sign this and help get me to Orlando,'” said Morris. “So I’m thinking the Bulls were finally going to trade Boozer for Dwight Howard, and Boozer’s on board with it too? Where do I sign?”