While Giants’ players doused Tom Coughlin in a celebratory Gatorade shower, Bill Belichick received a scolding hot reminder that his team came up short in Super Bowl XLVI.
“I deserved it,” said the grumpy Belichick. “Now I have lasting burns to remind me of this terrible loss.”
Outspoken tight end Aaron Hernandez and sparingly used wide receiver Chad Ochocinco snuck up behind their coach on his way to the locker room after the game. As a way of venting frustration, they proceeded to dump two gallons of scalding hot java on Belichick’s head.
“We weren’t supposed to lose this game,” Hernandez shouted. “He let us down. I would have dumped it on Tom’s [Brady] head… but come on; I didn’t want to harm that handsome face.”
Roger Goodell has already stated he will banish coffee from NFL locker rooms before this becomes a trend.
“It’s definitely on my list of things to do,” the commissioner said. “It’s right here in my notes under ‘Incidental contact with the quarterback will result in a 45-yard penalty.’”
Belichick will go through some minor skin grafting, but should have a full recovery. Hernandez and Ochocinco’s punishment will consist of mandatory viewings of Super Bowl XLVI every day for one month.