Heads of several Miami gangs, including the Dogg Pound, the King Garden Boys, and the Jamaican Posse, have rallied around Marlins pitcher Mark Buehrle providing him with support and security as he leads the charge to overturn a long-standing law banning pit bulls in Miami-Dade County.

Junior Velasquez, a high ranking member of the Dogg Pound, smoked and spoke bluntly as he offered his take on the present state of the law.

“They’ve been trying to take greyhounds away for a while now,” said Velasquez. “They will. Pretty soon all we’ll be able to bet on is jai alai and horses and that shit is boring. We need our dogs here in Miami.”

Little did the pitching ace know that when he left Chicago he would not be able to move into Miami-Dade County because he owns a pit bull. Buehrle, his family and all of his pets were stopped at the county line and redirected to nearby Broward County where pit bulls are allowed. He immediately spoke up asking for change and endeared himself to much of the criminal element in South Florida.

A high-ranking official from the Jamaican Posse who wished to remain anonymous said his gang would be changing their colors and making Buehrle jerseys part of their official uniform.

“We’ve been waiting for someone like this dude to come along for a while now. Big Buehrle is gonna have us all big pimping any day now.”