Jesus Montero’s travel plans have changed.

On the heels of the New York Yankees’ reported trade of the 22-year-old slugger to the Seattle Mariners, he had an epiphany.

“Uh … no, thank you,” he said.

Montero credits his decision to some soul searching after the news broke. Though baseball is his first love, Seattle isn’t.

“I really, really tried to look on the bright side,” Montero insisted. “I mean, Seattle’s not Kansas City, not Cleveland. Still, it didn’t help. Besides, you need a rocket launcher to get a ball out of Safeco. I had to follow my heart.”

His heart drew him to a local Peace Corps office, where everything “felt right,” and just sort of “fell into place.”

“I’m excited about this,” Montero added. “I’ll travel the world and help people. Plus, they have a really promising softball league, which is a huge plus for me. I’ll be able to play a couple of games a year in my native Venezuela. Heck, they even told me I could play center if I wanted. How do you say no to that?”

Upon learning of this recent development, Yankees GM Brian Cashman asserted that “a deal’s a deal, and we wish the Seattle Mariners organization the very best in 2012. Except, of course, when they play us.”