In the wake of Sunday’s 37-20 Green Bay loss to the Giants and on the eve of his election recall deadline, Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker declared his state officially atheist, mainly because the Packer loss was fueled by a 37-yard Hail Mary TD pass from Eli Manning to Hakeem Nicks to close out the first half.

It’s the second time a high-flying Wisconsin team was derailed by a Hail Mary. On Oct. 22, Michigan State defeated the Wisconsin Badgers 37-31 on a last-second 44-yard Hail Mary heave from Kirk Cousins to Keith Nichol.

“Religion has no place in this state when our prayers go unanswered but any old team just lobs up the ball and God answers their Hail Mary prayers by crushing the hearts of all Wisconsin’s eligible voters.” a visibly upset Walker said after an emergency conference with the state senate in which his measure was unanimously approved. “It’s like God himself knocked down our fine defensive backs so Nicks could make that grab. And don’t even get me going about the MSU game, that ball bounced off one guy’s face mask to a backup QB who I still don’t believe got the ball over the goal line.

Steve Blobinksi, a Packers season ticket holder since 1976 and UW grad, summed up the mood of the state as he stumbled to his car late last evening: “Blame God all you want but really doesn’t everyone know the defense is just supposed to knock it down?”

Patrick O. Elia