The Cubs are planning to announce at the Cubs Convention that new team president Theo Epstein will serve as cleanup hitter throughout the 2012 season according to sources.
“It’s not a big secret that Theo hasn’t been able to fill out the lineup like we all would have liked,” said the source who spoke on the condition of anonymity. “He fancies himself as a bit of an athlete and has always wanted to try to prove himself as a big-league hitter.”
The source also said that Epstein will either play in left field for Alfonso Soriano or shortstop should Starlin Castro’s availability be limited by “this pesky sexual assault allegation.”
“Anybody in the front office could play outfield better than Soriano,” said the source. “Castro plays a pretty mean short, but with Theo in there at least you know no throws will wind up in the first five rows of the stands.”
The plan to insert Epstein in the lineup is to be announced during the Convention’s opening ceremonies Friday afternoon, where the Cubs anticipated its eager fan base would be elated by the news.
“These guys aren’t as delusional as Hendry and company were,” said the source. “But they still think people will be happy to hear Theo’s batting cleanup. I guess he’s a better option there than most of the current roster.”