In a short interview today Marlins manager Ozzie Guillen informed reporters that the Cubs’ trade of long time psycho-ward-regular and part-time pitcher, Carlos Zambrano, was a near fall-through. But as suspected, Guillen saved the day. Was it the Latin heritage between the two fiery men? Was it the long-time friendship between the Guillen and Zambrano?

“I told him we play in the National League East,” said Guillen. “Now he’ll get to throw at Chipper Jones several more times a season.”

Guillen stated that Zambrano was content on destroying the Cubs clubhouse atmosphere this year until he found he had more opportunities to attempt to hurt the sure Hall of Famer Jones. “Hell, he even offered to give the Cubs $1 million back just so he could do it,” chuckled Guillen.

Also rumored to play an important part in the deal was an overabundance of Gatorade coolers left in the Marlins’ move from Sun Life Stadium, as well as several baseball bats and old Derrek Lee memorabilia available for burning.

Manny L. Scoreboard