At baseball’s winter meetings this week, Kenny Williams pulled off the moves that will make the White Sox a model for consistency in the next few years. Unfortunately, it will be as last place in the A.L. Central, and that’s exactly what Williams had in mind.

“We’re going to suck, but it’s only because we want to suck. That’s how you get the first crack at the top prospects,” said Williams. “The Royals used to have a stranglehold on last place in the division but they’ve decided they want to try and win now, and we wanted to get the high draft picks. It just worked out.”

To make this deal work, the White Sox allowed their ace left-hander Mark Buehrle to leave for the Miami Marlins as a top free agent signing. They also traded their reliable everyday closer Sergio Santos to the Blue Jays for pitching prospect Nestor Molina. This continues an organizational shakeup that included the release of Ozzie Guillen who will manage Buehrle in Miami, and the hire of untested, way-over-his-headlocked-head, Robin Ventura as the new team’s skipper.

When questioned what brought on all this rebuilding change, Williams replied, “Yeah I kind of messed up when I signed Rios, Peavy, and Dunn to those monster deals. Whoops. Jerry [Reinsdorf] told me we need to cut some salary, which unfortunately means getting rid of your proven veterans and relying on some of the younger guys.”

And more changes are expected to follow. “We’ve still got to find takers for Danks and Quentin, but we’re confident we can get it done. And who knows, I might turn Paulie and A.J. into coaches,” Williams said.

Williams added, “Rest assured, I do have a plan in mind. I saw this movie over the summer called ‘Moneyball’ and it blew my mind – awesome movie. I don’t mean to spoil it for you guys, but apparently you don’t need veterans and you can win baseball games by building through the draft and developing something called a ‘farm system.’ It inspired me. And Brad Pitt was pretty good in it too.”

“But first we need the draft picks, and the higher the pick, the better chance of drafting the next superstar. And that’s why we’re rebuilding. The moves we’re making now will ensure we finish last for years to come.”