Cubs President Theo Epstein announced today that Ryne Sandberg will not be among the candidates he considers for a new upper-deck Old Style vendor position.
“We appreciate and value Ryno’s talent and dedication, but we have decided to move in a different direction for this job,” Epstein said.
A perennial fan-favorite, Sandberg was considered a strong candidate for the new vendor opening, but the Cubs have decided to pass on his application.
“The next vendor in this section of the upper-deck needs experience pouring watery beers and breaking twenties at the Major League level,” Epstein said.
Perpetually glazed Cubs fans at Wrigleyville taverns expressed dismay at Epstein’s decision.
“I thought Ryno was a sure-thing,” said fan Randy Davis while nursing his seventh Miller Lite at the L&L on Clark St. “Sure, he hasn’t served Old Style in the Bigs, but he’s done great things with the beers in the Minors. I hear he rakes in the tips big-time.”
The Cubs would not put a timeline on their decision but added that they have not ruled out either Bobby Valentine, Tony La Russa or “that guy who always mutters to himself” as candidates for the job.