News of the Bengals’ trade of Carson Palmer to the Oakland Raiders sent ripples across the fantasy football universe on Tuesday. Owners everywhere scurried to either add Palmer to an already mediocre stable of quarterbacks or to persuade league competitors that Palmer is a much more lucrative pickup than a middling running back, up and coming wide receiver, or second kicker.

Ben Gerrard of Hillsdale, Michigan fits the first category.

“I drafted Josh Freeman in the late second round. Based upon ESPN’s Matthew Barry’s analysis, he was the man,” said the disappointed Gerrard. “I then got Kevin Kolb—figuring he’d be a great number 2 guy in Arizona. Now, if I pick up Palmer, I could have three horrible guys on my roster, or I can dump one of these other shysters who will surely blow up the minute they’re scooped off waivers. I hate fantasy football. And I hate Carson Palmer.”

Trent Jones of Hammond, Indiana is in an eight-team league in which his less than astute cohorts allowed him to draft Aaron Rodgers, Calvin Johnson, LeSean McCoy, Arian Foster, and Jimmy Graham. He’s in the process of creating a Palmer highlight reel from his USC days in order to convince the 2nd place competitor that Palmer is just the quarterback he needs to replace Tom Brady.

“My problem is this: How do you convince this chump that USC is a pro team? I mean, with Pete Carroll gone, that job just got harder. USC doesn’t even play like they’re getting paid anymore.”

Either way, the Palmer fantasy situation is delicate. Finding someone to act as negligently as the real life Raiders will be a challenge in and of itself.

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