Kenny Williams may not have to look far for a new manager of the White Sox. Zeroing in on the “anti-Ozzie Guillen,” Williams is close to bringing Mike Quade from the North Side to skipper his ballclub.

“We really need a guy who is not a distraction to the team, doesn’t make himself the center of attention, will toe the company line, and can think up fun nicknames for all our players without cursing up a storm,” said Williams. “While I am not at liberty to name names of candidates at this time, the bald guy over at Clark and Addison is the clear cut favorite to manage the White Sox in 2012.”

Quade, who just wrapped up the Cubs season in San Diego, scoffed at the idea that he was going anywhere, but was enticed by the possibility of managing both the Cubs and White Sox next season.

“Golly jeepers, darn, first of all, I think I have proven that I am quite capable of a managing a fourth- or fifth-place ballclub,” said Quade. “I am under contract with the Cubs and am certain to return next year, but if Williamsey does come a-calling, I will have to listen. Wow, how great would it be to manage both Chicago teams next year? And in the American League I won’t have to worry about the intricacy of the double-switch, which always throws me for a loop.”

By Jeremy Barewin

Jeremy Barewin