The NFL and ESPN have agreed to extend their Monday Night Football contract, therefore agreeing to give Jon Gruden’s crotch considerable coverage for the next eight years.
Since joining ESPN, football fans everywhere have noticed Gruden’s affinity for wearing tight pants while sitting on a bar stool. This combination has led to a less than desirable picture for many viewers across the country.
At the announcement, ESPN addressed the situation: “We’re aware of the concern, but Jon Gruden carries a considerable fan club of strange women over 40 and that demographic can’t be ignored.”
When asked for comment, Gruden started raving about the play of an undrafted free agent on the Browns.