In a shocking move, White Sox GM Kenny Williams has demoted struggling slugger Adam Dunn to the Comcast Fundamentals Deck at U.S. Cellular Field.
“Something had to be done,” said a downcast Williams. “His stroke is shot and we felt that hitting plastic wiffle balls off a tee with eight-year-olds might be the shock to get him back on track.”
There had been talk of sending Dunn to the minors in Charlotte or even Double-A Birmingham, but the demotion to the Fundamentals Deck serves a dual purpose.
“We’ll be able to keep an eye on Adam during game time. The deck is videotaped, so we can see how many plastic balls he’s making solid contact with,” said manager Ozzie Guillen. “When we need to recall him, he is just in left field ready to resume his role as high-priced DH.”
Dunn took the demotion in good spirit, sharing bawdy locker room stories with the 8 and under crowd on the Fundamentals Deck while hitting his first three wiffle balls to left field for harmless singles.
“I will do whatever it takes to get my swing back, even hitting with a 5-ounce plastic bat. I can really rip this thing,” said the bemused slugger. “Can I use this in the game?”
The Sox also hope to recoup some of their investment by doing “Big Donkey ride” night having Dunn on all fours giving the youngsters free rides through out the game.
“It’s a big gamble for us,” said the evasive GM. “If Adam can’t hit a plastic ball 50 feet over the fence, we are in bigger trouble than we realized.”
Dunn reports tomorrow night during the Twins game.