The internet is blowing up this morning with reports that the Cubs have fired Jim Hendry. In an unusual twist, the team will continue paying the now-former GM’s salary for at least six more years.

“We decided we’d help him land on his feet so we’ll be covering his salary until 2017,” said owner Tom Ricketts. “We feel that since Jim rewarded so many poor performers in his tenure that it’s time we give back to him.”

Sources indicate assistant GM Randy Bush will assume the GM role.  Ricketts wouldn’t comment specifically on Bush, but said Hendry’s successor will be given very direct marching orders.

“Rest assured that if we hire from within, there will be a change in our mentality,” said Ricketts. “Instead of bloated seven- or eight-year contracts for aging talent, we’ll only give out fat five- or six-year deals for guys like that. It’s how we plan to achieve our goal of a World Series title in the next few decades.”