In a surprising move that will have far reaching statistical and historical implications, Major League Baseball has decided to officially change the name of receiving three strikes in an at-bat from “strikeout” to “DunnSwing.”

This change, in honor of the White Sox slugger Adam Dunn, who has twice as many DunnSwings as hits this season, is considered the first time the name of a major baseball stat has been changed since the early 1900s.

In a statement released by the League, Commissioner Bud Selig stated, “The term ‘strikeout’ doesn’t resonate with the younger generation. It’s an archaic term that fails to grab the attention of new fans. When trying to determine a new name for this stat, we surveyed a large group of people who had never seen a baseball game before, and an astounding 80% of them were able to correctly guess what a DunnSwing referred to. It’s a much more accurate descriptor than the vague, confusing term ‘strikeout.'”

When reached for comment about this new name change, and its historical implications, Dunn ripped the nearest tree from the ground and began swinging it wildly, screaming, “Adam Dunn no have comment, Adam Dunn smash!”

By Jeff GoodSmith

Jeff GoodSmith