Earlier this week, Nick Jonas, the youngest of the famed Jonas Brothers musical trio took batting practice at Wrigley before a Cubs game. The reason for his appearance was a mystery that cleared up quickly when GM Jim Hendry signed the 18-year-old to a massive contract today and announced the heartthrob will bat third for the remainder of the season.
“Nick looked really good in the batter’s box,” said Hendry. “I decided he’d be a great addition to this club so I made a little magic happen and signed him to a three-deal, $18 million deal.”
Jonas will immediately put his musical career on hold in order to join the Cubs. He said he anticipates learning the finer points of the sport quickly.
“I haven’t played a ton of baseball in my life, but I do enjoy softball,” said Jonas. “Looking around at this Cubs team, there are a few guys here who would be great coming off the bench of my coed softball team.”
Cubs manager Mike Quade said he wasn’t quite sure where in the field he’d insert his new No. 3 hitter, but was confident he had a lot of options.
“I could put this scrappy kid anywhere in the field and he’d probably show more hustle than the guys who are there now,” said Quade. “He probably doesn’t have the arm of [Starlin] Castro at short, but that could be a good thing since Starlin overthrows the first baseman on what seems to be a daily basis.”
Although he’s on hiatus from his musical career, Jonas said he hopes to find some inspiration for a new album while playing with the Cubs.
“I’ve always liked the blues and there’s no greater town than Chicago for that,” said Jonas. “Plus hanging out in that dumpy locker room with all these mopey guys should give me enough material to write a double album that I’ll release when we’re mathematically eliminated in August.”