Lincoln Park Slims broke the cardinal rule of sports bars recently when a small area of its wall was not covered by high definition television. Although the pub was equipped with 2,313 televisions, including 15 in each bathroom, it was the small section of a wall without a T.V. that had customers up in arms. One such patron and Lincoln Park resident known only as “Greasy Mike” was particularly upset about the situation.

“Every bar I go to has got to have a T.V. on every inch of its walls, yo!” said Greasy Mike. “If it don’t, then what am I gonna watch when I get bottle service dude!??”

Several females were also dismayed. Staci Williamson, a student enrolled for six credit hours this spring semester at DePaul, expressed her frustration.

“Not to have a T.V.’s covering an entire bar is so trashy and low-budge,” groaned Williamson. “It’s stupid … I feel gross even going in there now.”

The backlash from sponsors in wake of this incident has been fierce. Brands such as Ed Hardy, Diesel Jeans and Grey Goose Vodka all pulled their sponsorship from Lincoln Park Slims. In an effort to bring back their regular patrons, the bar has lowered their beer prices from $11.50 a pint to $10.75 and on Thursdays is offering “Eight-For-One” deals.

By Andy Landgrebe. Photoshop by Pat Lamorte

Andy Landgrebe