Mired in an early season attendance slump, the Cubs announced Friday a new, reasonably priced beer and hot dog promotion aimed at drawing more fans to Wrigley Field, marking the first time the franchise has ever featured reasonably priced concessions.

“It’s no secret we’re hurting at the gate,” said Chief Marketing Officer Wally Hayward. “So if dropping the price of a beer from $7.50 to a more reasonably priced $3 helps draw fans to watch our incredibly mediocre baseball team, so be it.”

Tuesday night games at Wrigley will feature $3 Budweiser products for all fans in the bleachers and Wednesday night games will feature $1 Vienna Beef Hot Dogs for the same fans. Should the promotion work, Hayward is predicting a game day concessions revolution across all of sports.

“Who knows? Maybe the Bears will consider dropping the price of a beer from $8 to $4,” said Hayward. “Maybe the San Francisco Giants will drop the price of a Cabernet from $17 to $12. You never know what we might be onto here.”

hecklerstaff