Patrick Kane: Ponder keeping mullet. Get mullet caught in something. Cut mullet.

Ben Smith: *See Patrick Kane summer 2010.

Duncan Keith and Brent Seabrook: Couples therapy.

Brian Campbell and Niklas Hjalmarsson: Get tattoos in order to look more badass.

Patrick Sharp: Somehow skate his way into slot during game six of Eastern Conference finals. Pose. Score.

Tomas Kopecky: Whatever Hossa’s doing.

Marian Hossa: Try to ditch Kopecky.

Troy Brouwer: Find “self.”

Corey Crawford: Make absolutely sure to not hire Antti Niemi’s agent.

Dave Bolland: Appear in Sedin twins recurring dreams.

Jonathan Toews: Exhale and melt into puddle.

By Dan Bradley

Bandwagon Dan