Bulls players are holding out hope that unproductive Carlos Boozer trips over another gym bag before Game 5 of their series against the Pacers. Boozer famously and allegedly tripped over a gym bag in his home during the preseason and missed the first 15 games of the regular season. An anonymous Bulls player said Boozer should “take one for the team” and break his hand or possibly multiple bones this time.

“I have nothing against Boozer personally,” said the Bulls player who asked to remain anonymous. “He is a nice guy, he tips well and he screams with the best of them. But his zero defense, eight-inch vertical and missed fadeaway jump shots do way more harm than good. We need to put away these thugs in Game 5, and honestly Boozer would be more valuable as a LuvaBull at this point.”

Players purposefully injuring themselves to help the team are a rare breed which would make Boozer a “patriot,” the anonymous player continued. Another acceptable outcome would be Boozer flagrant fouling annoying goons Jeff Foster or Josh McRoberts and drawing a hefty suspension.

Nike appears to behind the Bulls’ thinking 100 percent. A UPS truck was spotted dropping off dozens of camouflaged Nike gym bags at Boozer’s residence Monday night, although a Nike representative claimed the company was simply “delivering many, many luxurious product samples to our invaluable spokesman”.