Cubs GM Jim Hendry has lots of work left to do as Spring Training begins, but he might have trouble doing his job from his new location. After proclaiming the Cubs will be in contention this year while talking to reporters earlier this week, Hendry was dragged away kicking and screaming by three men in white coats and brought to the nearest psychiatric hospital for evaluation.
“He might as well have called himself Jesus Christ,” said a shocked Mike Quade. “I’m the manager and one of the most upbeat people you’ll ever meet, but even I wouldn’t proclaim something that crazy. Does he not even remember one of his key signings this off-seasons was Reed Johnson?”
That’s exactly what doctors will be trying to find out as they work on him around the clock. Hendry will be spending his days locked up in a Cubbie blue straight jacket, going through intense mental evaluations. According to an unnamed source, he’s already failed miserably.
“He repeatedly said he was seeing World Series trophies during his Rorschach inkblot test,” said the source. “And he’s constantly talking on an imaginary cell phone about some blockbuster deal trading Alfonso Soriano straight-up for Albert Pujols. He keeps screaming that he needs to get out of here so he can finalize the deal.”
Team owner Tom Ricketts is hoping Hendry will be able to return to work soon. If the Cubs actually do want to contend this year, they’ll need a mentally healthy GM, but Ricketts isn’t holding his breath.
“I’ve tried to get it through to him over and over again that I’m more concerned about the ballpark than the actual team,” said Ricketts. “The sooner he understands that the sooner the doctors will release him so he may start working again.”