After having already suffered two concussions this season, Aaron Rodgers and the Packers aren’t taking any more chances. In order to protect their franchise quarterback, the team has lined Rodgers’ helmet with the softest, most cushioning substance they know of: pure Wisconsin cheddar cheese.
“We went through a hundred different types of cheeses trying to find one that will protect his brain from blows to the head,” said Pepper Burruss, the Packers’ head trainer. “Swiss; mozzarella; Gouda; none of them provide the protection that a good sharp cheddar can.”
So far, the cheese is working.
Rodgers has avoided a third concussion, and has played brilliantly during the postseason. He hopes to eliminate the Bears this weekend and advance to the Super Bowl. He’s also added more meaning to the term “cheesehead,” something that has brought him even more admiration from loyal Packer fans.
“Now we can finally say that he’s one of us,” said Ryan Torkelson, who, along with thousands of other Wisconsinites, embarrasses himself every Sunday by wearing a block of foam cheese on his head. “People say we look stupid, but what will they say now that Aaron Rodgers is doing the same thing?”
Probably more of the same. Many of Rodgers’ friends throughout the league have gotten on the quarterback’s case about the cheese, but he doesn’t seem to mind as long as he stays healthy.
“It’s done a great job of protecting my head,” said Rodgers while pulling out a box of Triscuits from his locker after practice. “And best of all, it provides a convenient after-game snack.”
By Michael Kloempken