There are those who thought Tom Ricketts knew nothing about baseball when he bought the Cubs last year, and the owner’s latest effort to win over fans isn’t likely to help matters.

In an embarrassing move, Ricketts plans to display giant stalks of corn, bushels of wheat, and several other vegetables in an attempt to show the development of a strong Cubs farm system.

“I’m excited for Cubs fans to see that our farm system is starting to develop some fresh, quality produce,” said Ricketts. “When they see how tall these stalks of corn are growing, and not to mention the wonderful color I’m getting on the zucchini, they’ll be screaming for season tickets.”

Sources within the Cubs organization say that Jim Hendry has been desperately trying to get through to Ricketts, explaining to him over and over again that the “farm system” is just a metaphor for home grown baseball talent, and not an actual working farm. But Ricketts won’t stop talking about his “Cubbie Cabbage” and baseball-sized brussels sprouts. He was even rumored to be considering hiring a farmer to replace Piniella.

“The real MVP’s of our organization are the farmers who get up at the crack of dawn every day,” said Ricketts, proudly offering fresh carrots to members of the media. “I’ve always heard about the importance of a team’s farm system, and I think it’s about time that the people responsible start getting their due.”

By Michael Kloempken

Michael Kloempken