To prepare for the Bears’ meaningless 10-3 loss against the Green Bay Packers, Jay Cutler looked at the tape of Rex Grossman’s 2006 meaningless season finale. Grossman was spectacularly horrific in a 26-7 loss to the Packers on New Year’s Eve, completing 2 of 12 passes with three interceptions to finish with an unfathomable quarterback rating of 0.0. Grossman’s performance was inspiration for Cutler’s lackluster effort on Sunday afternoon.

“Grossman raised the bar for indifference,” said Cutler following the loss. “It is next to impossible to arrive at the coveted 0.0 quarterback rating, but I’ll be damned if I didn’t give my all to not care about this game in any way whatsoever.”

Cutler’s dispassionate performance — 21/39 for 168 yards, two crucial interceptions and a 43.5 quarterback rating — will no doubt inspire local citizens to show up for work on Monday morning and shrug their way through a half-assed workday.

“People think professional athletes work hard all the time to achieve their best,” said Cutler. “I think Rex and I showed that if you don’t care about your job, you should simply show up and kind of sleep-walk around. I am living the American dream.”

By Jimmy Juliano